Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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