Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We left the knife in your bed.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
