This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
