Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
