update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
