JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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