By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
