Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
4 words: hood of his car
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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