Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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