she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
