Small penises have feelings too.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Oh god it's open bar.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize