She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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