just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
