This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
oh god the rape fog is back!
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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