Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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