he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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