I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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