An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
