so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize