i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
