P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize