ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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