is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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