I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize