so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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