then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
we should paint friendship bongs
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