i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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