so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every concussion has its silver lining
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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