Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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