Four minutes until I can fart!
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
