No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
