i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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