if i can run in heels then i can drive
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
