Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just googled if crying burns calories
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
