It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
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