Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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