I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
