party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
