God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize