woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
