Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
