i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
How many fucks given?
0.12846
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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