Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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