you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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