I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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