Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Sober January is a disaster.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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