The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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