Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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