My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I supernannyed him into submission
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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