how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
