She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I could fuck to npr.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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