and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize