I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
