when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
